Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Be a part of my village!

I came across this link on facebook, it was put up by a friend that has also adopted internationally.  It answers many questions I've been asked and helps express how I feel.  I agree with every word.  Please follow this link and read what she has to say.  I want you to be a part of our village and this really helps explain how you can do that now and the months following our return with the children.  Thanks!

Read link first before continuing...

Ok so I posted this then took a shower and you know how your mind is when washing your hair, going a million different places....
Well it came back to this and one of the points she made.  In point number 1 in the "Before the airport" section, she said how annoying it is to hear "God's timing is perfect" and again in "After the airport" point number 5, "we are a distant plan B". 

Probably the number 1 thing I have heard as "encouragement" from friends, family and people I barely know is "God has the perfect children waiting for you and they're just not ready yet".  I usually just say "I know" and leave it at that.   What is really going on in my mind is something entirely different.  Sometimes I'm pushing the thoughts away because well, I don't want to think about it.  But here it is, I'm laying it all out in the open.

What I really want to scream say is "Waiting for what? For their parents to die and then get passed from relative to relative because no one can afford another set of mouths to feed or bodies to clothe?"  Do YOU realize what you're really saying when you give this piece of encouragement?  "They're not ready for you yet", sooo they haven't watched their parents die yet, or maybe just one?  What about being passed to an aunt only to have to move on to the grandparents because the aunt already has four children of her own?  Well the grandparents are elderly and poor and won't be able to care for them for long either.

OR all of this could have already transpired and the children are waiting in an orphanage, going to bed one more night without a mom and dad to kiss them goodnight all because of intercountry adoption bureaucracy and the lack of people and office space to keep up with all of the adoptions trying to come out of Ethiopia.

So next time you talk to me, please think twice about asking how the adoption is going.  Trust me, you'll know when something happens.  And if you forget and do ask and I say "still waiting", please, don't respond in any of the ways I've mentioned or this incredible woman mentions in her blog.  Just say "sorry" or "I'm praying"...and actually mean it please.

So remember, we're not just these children's distant plan B, we are probably more like plan C, D or even E.

I may sound really harsh but hey, it's better that I get it out here than to suddenly scream it out at some person I barely know trying to give me "encouragement".  

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